Down in the dumps...

I know what you are thinking...does this have to do with the boy fast. And the answer is no. I am doing just fine with the boy fast. Enjoying life without having to worry about making boys notice me. I am busy busy with school and fitting in the holidays and craft projects. So, now you are thinking, what else could there be time in her life for that she could be sad about. Well, it is the people I live with. Well, just two of them. Annie is amazing and I would have been in Hell for the last four months with out her. I know she feels like she was supposed to move here, but I really feel like she was supposed to move here for me. She really does not know how much she does for me.

Now, on to the real story. Several months ago we got into a "roommate" fight with the others occupying this house with Annie and myself. There are five of us total. Long story short, everyone got upset and irrational and I swore at them. Yikes! Well, due to my idiotic verbal retaliation we were told that we were kicked out and needed to be out by the end of the month. This was horrible and caused lots of heart ache on my side. Two of the girls are cousins of mine. Days passed, I searched other places for love and comfort. Hence, the last relationship I jumped into.
It was hard to deal with and the situation disrupted the overall feeling of our house. About three months has passed since then I thought everyone was over it. I have taken efforts to repair the damage done: tried to start up conversation, apologize, scrape the ice of their cars if I leave first (and we all know how much I hate that....an older post will attest to that.), throwing a pie pallooza in our home and inviting everyone. However, they still act the same. They hardly talk to me and they leave the room if I enter. They do not acknowledge me at church or social functions and they go to mutual friends activities without inviting me. Well tonight they had a dinner party in our home and I was not invited. Also this weekend there was a discussion not involving me that stated that their sister would be moving in as soon as she graduates (15 days) and that "Lolly was kicked out in September so she knows where she stands."
This is why I am down in the dumps. This is why I am sad. Where is the Christ-like attitude? Where is the forgiveness? Why are they being so mean intentionally? I am tired of the people who I care about in my life...dumping on me. I feel like I need to stop counting on others to be loyal. I do not fully know how to describe the way I feel other than there is a big whole in my chest. I feel just like my fish that I flushed last week. And now, I get to find a new place to live. So much for having any kind of Christmas with all the moving expenses.